thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
