I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize