I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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