ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
