Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
