In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
