Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
