Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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