my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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