he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize