Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
