WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
