On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
