then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
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There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
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I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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