The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
