Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
