idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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