a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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