So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I think I won the penis lottery.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize