WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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