his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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