I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
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So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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