i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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