is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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