That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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