hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
