After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize