Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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