No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize