Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
