what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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