he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
