I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
