That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
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She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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