It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
