There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
