I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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