We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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