the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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