You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
