is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
