I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
