he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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