We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
