I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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