your thong is hanging out like whoa
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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