Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Someone came in the potted fern
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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