We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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