i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I could make wine with my vomit
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
