somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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