Just cropdusted the office
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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