So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
