How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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