I look better un-naked...
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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