no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
