There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
