he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
