he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
