I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
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