You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
