Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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