Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
