He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
