It's Friday. Sex?
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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