Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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