I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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