doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
